The thing is Maynard, you have to dig for the positives, you always have to dig for those every day... its like mining for gold... you end up covered in dirt but if you persevere you will find something worthwhile...
If you look at mb28's husband, he's shown a lot of guilt, so I suspect that's why he flipped the status. But more importantly, he hasn't posted anything about OW on there publically either... so there IS SHAME as well.
But most important is that where there IS guilt there is shame, and where there IS shame, there is also hope.
Your husband is showing signs of his conscience getting the better of him.
He does NOT want to keep the current state of affairs (excuse the pun), he clearly wants to make somthing happen asap. So mb28 you know this won't last much longer as he is under stress as well. There ARE some spouses who have little inhibitions about what they are doing and look like they could keep up their affairs almost indefiitely... those are SERIOUS cases where there is a much taller mountain to climb.
In your situation mb28 your H just needs a nudge to what DIRECTION to take to end the pain... he is looking at D and he is looking at R with you and they both cause him panic, but he hates where he is NOW as well so... He isn't giong to keep this up for much longer...
All he needs is to be gently nudged (or maybe not so gently) nudged twoards a reconcilliation through FT sessions. He just needs some nudging there, he clearly wants his pain to stop.. We just need to make sure he doens't decide to take the D route to try to end that... your friends have so far done a great job warning him that D will NOT end anyone's pain and will just make things a LOT WORSE. I believe he knows that... but the more times he hears that from more people the better.
