NM you're right, booking flights and time away for YOU is huge, it's a really positive step and I'm sure you'll have a great time.
Next Goal, worry less what H thinks, another BIG step - detaching.
Just remember Actions speak louder than Words.
And you shouldn't regret anything you did during H's C scare, you do love him after all. Like Flow I think it's important that you can still show WAS that, even though you are GAL & don't NEED them, you still care about them.
H: 44 W: 42 Married: 23 years Bomb: 16/07/2009 PA Confirmed: 16/01/2010 Over it & working on ME: Feb'ish 2010
A little thing: am going to do a 180 and text WH first about S' night so he doesn't get to check on him. Obviously me not texting WH has done crap, i.e. it doesn't make a big impact so I will do something different.
(S has stopped waking up at 4 for a bottle! YAY!)
And then tonight when he arrives I will be rushing out the door to go to Bunco and then when I get back from Bunco I will ask real quick how S did, then if WH doesn't leave right away, I will tell him that I am heading for bed and leave first.
Last edited by newmama; 03/11/1003:07 PM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I remember (vaguely 'cos it's a long time ago) the 4AM feedings. W was breastfeeding but we'd both be awake anyway, yeah it's good to get them over and be able to get a full nights sleep.
H: 44 W: 42 Married: 23 years Bomb: 16/07/2009 PA Confirmed: 16/01/2010 Over it & working on ME: Feb'ish 2010
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Went to baby play group, got hair done (it will look good in a month possibly :-( ) and went to Bunco. When I got back, he was doing work on his computer. I did according to plan- but got a glass of water in the kitchen before going upstairs. I think he wanted to talk to me about his stitches or something because he came into the kitchen and out of the corner of my eye it looked like his pants were unbuttoned and he was wiggling- okay that sounded wrong! I just should say it reminded me of when a little kid coughs loudly and looks at you then sniffles loudly and looks at you so you will ask "are you feeling ok?"
But I pretended not to notice and so I didn't bring it up.
Well when I went upstairs to go to bed, he said "Ok well I'll see you tomorrow!" And I just said "yeah, bye! see you tomorrow!"
He didn't say you guys, he said "you!" not that I am thinking it means something just that I noticed it.
So I did remember something my DB coach said- that sometimes the WASs will bring up comments implying divorce to put up a wall after feeling close. (or because they really are going to divorce you or because the OW is pressuring them again) I just had to remember it doesn't mean the worst necessarily.
"Believe nothing of what they say and 50% of what they do."
Last edited by newmama; 03/12/1003:22 PM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I went to Bunco once, as a sub... they never actually played! (Is Bunco a code word for Wives/Mom's drinking night?) I was glad it was in the neighborhood, and walkable... That's all I'll say! LoL
Yea, keep the pubic stitches and wiggles OUT of your view. That's definitely NOT HOT right now!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Yea, keep the pubic stitches and wiggles OUT of your view.
Yep
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
