Loved and Supported...

[sage]

this is probably not the case at all but I did start to wonder if perhaps h made mention of or mismention of c (or was it b?? ) to see if you would say something? as you haven't mentioned it yet and would have in the past? an extra little push?

I don't know. I suppose it's possible but since he was reading me the bill from home (I was at work) it seems more like just a cover up than an attempt to get a reaction.

is it what or where he is charging or the fact that he wasn't open about it?

It could be both. It's certainly that he was dishonest.

Maybe this will help....

H says: my bill this month was really small...only 2 charges....groceries and gas.

When actually the two charges were groceries and the monthly fee for aol

SO....when I said that there were multiple reasons why he could be dishonest some innocent some not what I mean is...

does he not mention the aol because he's using it to interact with ow or someone else?

OR

does he not mention it because he's neglected to cancel the service (which we legitimately signed up for more than a year ago but only needed for a few months) and he thinks I'll be pissed off because he was supposed to cancel it and didn't thereby wasting X dollars a month.

It occurs to me that this is partly absurd...another 180 (as opposed to not asking about it) would be to ask him about it in a non-judgemental way....how would I know if he was telling the truth or not?

Guess I just don't feel prepared to be in that sitch right now.

Oddly enough...here's my cainercast for the day (tho' by a guest astrologer):

What kind of relationships do you want? This is the most frequently unasked, and therefore unanswered, question. Be specific; what communication style do you prefer? What are the values you want to engage with and learn from? And, by far the most important question, who is the inner person whose voice you suppress to make others feel comfortable? That's the person who needs to feel welcome among friends, family and lovers. That and nobody else is the person capable of contentment in your relationships.


I want fidelity. I want honesty. I want to not react in suspicion and mistrust. I'd like to be able to ask my h "hey, what's this charge for ...." and not have it be cruddy for both of us. I'd like h to be able to read me a bill and say "hey, what's this charge for...I can't believe I forgot to cancel that..."

This may sound totally bizarre to everyone but I'm doing ok with this...not saying this won't force some sort of discussion eventually but I'm just not leaping...

Sage