The journey begins

[ClingingToHope]

It's funny but the financial problems ahead are things I can manage -- and better yet I have control over that -- and now I'm not feeling so bad.

I spent most of yesterday formulating a plan.

Unfortunately, it involves bankruptcy, but I can't worry about that. I feel bad about it, but $15k of my problem is stuff I'm getting stuck with. When the D is done I'm on a new path and I'll just have to build from there.

This spring cold I think is turning into bronchitis, which sucks because this is my last free weekend (no kids or second job) until the second weekend of April.

I think I'll be spending tonight at least in bed.

Did get the call on taxes last night from W. She asked what happened and I said the major problem was the withholding change in the stimulus package. Even though we made $9,000 more, we paid $300 less in in taxes.

She did not get too upset.

I talked to the girls briefly. D11 left something at the apartment. I dropped it off this morning. D7 was just yacking away and wanted to put me on speaker phone. When she did, I started singing "Here Comes The Sun" so everyone could hear me. She started yelling "stop singing."

Now that I don't fear the finances, I don't fear the divorce. I'm pretty far along on the acceptance that W's heart is closed to me while she searches for her happiness.

The house, and her desperate efforts to stay in it, is going to crush her financially. I was just thinking in my head what needs to be done this year -- a brick repair needs to be redone -- $500 -- a crumbling tree needs to be cut down -- $500. The dishwasher may need to be replaced, etc.

It's going to be interesting to see how that plays out.