Yah...I'm doing quite well, actually on just letting him "be" -- much better than I used to, I think...K, I DID pull out M&V yesterday AM to remind myself all about it

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I know for a fact that h lied to me about something yesterday... a charge that was on his credit card. The way it came about was that he called to tell me of his super low charges for this month and he said it was A & B. This morning I went to pay the bill and saw that it was A & C. Cryptic enough for you?

There's more than one reason why he would lie about this -- some "innocent" and some not. This type of thing is EXACTLY the kind of thing that would have caused a giant issue in the past...I would have seen the bill and freaked out and pressured him about it and .... the rest is history.

What DOUBLY bugs me about this is that:

I have been writing checks for this CC for a year and EACH MONTH the charge is on it and I HAVE NOT asked/pressured/questioned/snooped. IOW...I have been doing a 180 on this for a year and he doesn't even know that.

Anyway....I'm fine right now...level headed and all...not reactive. I just find that dishonesty sucks the life and energy out of me and the m. I'm sure we could also say that snooping and mistrust and suspicion does the same thing. Right now (and for a while now), I'm controlling the part that I CAN. I wish he felt comfortable enough to control the part that he CAN. Perhaps two giant communication/honesty breakthroughs in one week is too much to hope for.

Anyway...he just called and was very loving and attentive -- said he needed to go on a date with me, etc.

I didn't bring it up. I don't plan to right now. Just trying to give him as much space and acceptance and lack of judgement as I can.

Sage

PS No, it's not porn - LOL

Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.