Hey SB,
thanks for the kind words! h knocks my sox off!!!

As for bringing up the ow...it occurred to me reading your post to me that it's not even that I WANT to bring her up...more that I beleive that I can and not create disaster? Dunno if that makes sense...of course the add on to that is probably MY input to the disaster creation -- wavering, ASSumptions, etc.

I hope h isn't reading this thinking that ow is going to become nightly dinner conversation! she isn't.

I think that I get mired in B/W thinking that she must have been BETTER than me (in some definition) for h to choose her and her needs/wants/etc over mine...that's where I sometimes get stuck...what did she offer that I didn't?

I suppose I can think of a handful of things off the top of my head ... some probably valid, perhaps some not...I guess I think it would help me, help us if I could get some feedback (you know -- in MY language! DIRECTLY said...prefaced with "here is some feedback for you!!" ) to let me know what he's happy with, what he isn't.

I guess I've gotten this far by "listening" for h's language not mine....he seems to be speaking loud and clear, no?

Sage

Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.