That is the key isn't it? We have to get to a place where we except them despite they don't so everything we think they need to be doing. Could they really do enough to make us completely trust them? I don't think so-I think we would still have to go through the process of dealing with our doubts and learn ways to deal with all those feelings that come along with them. There are alot of things I wish my H would do. If I listed them all off to them I think he might feel like a Spepford husband-doing exactly what I tell him to do. He has post A feelings too that I probably could not even begin to understand. All I can do is let him be him and try to open up communication as much as possible because we sorely lacked in communication skills pre-A. It's better now, but long lived habits are hard to break, no? Rachael
