I was wondering how to do that too.. Just got finished with my first MC session solo. I really liked her. Our 45 minute session turned into 1 hr and 45 minutes. I am going to stick with her.. with or without H.
I will try to summarize:
Here is her approach if doing MC with H..she would see me and H..ask us to commit to a 3 month period (not with her but between me and H). She suggested that H stay out of the house for the 3 months without seeing other people. She believes that the only options we have right now is to do the work in MC or divorce. She is pro-marriage unless she feels that the relationship is toxic and it would be healthier to not be together. She suggests dating during this time period...and then taking a check point.
First few sessions..explore the reasons for A. She believes that my H is acting out..rebelling. Could be because of his mother being controlling or perhaps he was always forced to do the right thing or always has done the right thing or has always felt like he has had to do the right thing. She also thinks that he suffers from depression which may have triggered H's acting out. She also senses a personality disorder..not so much bipolar (like his grandmother)..but more of a narcissistic tendency or perhaps borderline. She caveats all of this by saying...this is just based on the information that I have provided and will know more after speaking to him.
She was very easy to talk to and she really provided a lot of feedback. My current IC really just listened..which I guess isn't a bad thing...but he really never provided me with any insightful info..no a-ha moments. I have an appointment scheduled for next week... with or without H..I will wait for him to approach me with all of this.
What is her position on trying to counsel the two of you during this 3-month period if your husband is still in contact with OW? Does she intend to insist that he not, in order for her to work with you guys?
