WAW in PA-I Moved Out in Error & D has been Filed

[Quart9]

I have closed the first thread about my sitch (in an attempt to self moderate) and opened a new one. Here is the link to the old thread for ref: I think I'd rather be dead than this - WAW

A recap for those of you just tuning in:

W and I were M for 4 yrs and together for a total of 9. We moved to CA right after we got married so that I could go to design school. W was the bread winner while I'm in school. Over the past couple of years W (I have now learned) began to detach because she resented: that she was the only one working/I did not have job, that I had to focus so much on school, that we did not already having a family started, and/or that I did not having the time because of school to socialize and travel.

W went on cruise in Nov '09 with her girlfriends and about a week after she got back I got, "ILYBNILWY, I need to figure out if I can still be married to you, I want a temp S, I don't want to go to MC, etc."

W paid the bills and she wanted me to move out while she figured out what she wanted and in an naïve effort to save the M I did. A couple of days after I moved out I found out she cheated on me on the cruise with OM and then after the cruise she came back began EA/PA with same OM. OM is married and in process of S or D with his W (OM may also have a kid?).

Since I have moved out W has done her best to completely detach from me and she has made it clear that she wants a D and never wants to reconcile w/ me.