Hi HB! First of all, thankyou for what you said about me to Round 2. I was just catching up on her thread and we do have a lot of similarities!
Oh, honey, you're welcome, I really do like you and Round2, also; both of you would be good for each other, I'm thinking. I'm the world's worst for "hooking people" up, bringing people together, especially with the similarity in situations.
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As for the distancing...I did not look at it the way you have explained it. Was hurt that he didn't even seem to care about S14. And, you are right, he has also distanced himself from SS28. Has not seen him since 12/30. My DIL has started calling him from her work # as he won't answer when she calls from her cell....so yes, I am not the only one he is pushing away.
That was where my experience and the ability to "draw things" out of a situation comes into play, helping you to understand his distancing is NOT personally directed AT YOU; it had NOTHING to do with you or your children at all. I rely on what comes to my mind as I read your posts, and post it as it comes to me, praying that what I post is correct; as I've never dealt with divorce in MLC.
Keep remembering it's HIM, not YOU. It's hard NOT to take it personally, I understand that completely. Keep ranting right along; I'm right there with you.
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Quick story...a friend of mine stopped in my work place the other day looking for me and my co-worker asked if she was a friend of mine. This friend and I kinda lost touch after we had kids, went on with our lives and ran into each other occassionally at the big hair shows. I hadn't talked with her for a couple of years and before I had surgery (masectomy) she calls out of the blue! She had heard from a friend of a client of mine about my cancer. She came to the hospital the day of the surgery, brought food for my family etc. Called once in ahwile during chemo and once I was all better, quit calling! So, when she leaned in to ask my co-worker "how is Lisa doing?" my co-worker assumed that since she was my friend, that she knew about my H and my seperation and dropped the bomb! I called my friend last night and we talked for awhile and she didn't judge, just offered support and her H if I needed anything around the house done etc....I just can't help thinking that that was not a coincidence! She told me what a strong person I am and that I didn't seem to know that!!! Hmmm, where have I heard that before?
You've heard that from several of us here on the board, CW..you can NEVER see the depth of strength within you, but other people do, and it is remarkable the amount of strength you display. Other people in your position are falling apart, but you're really not...and you honestly cannot see that you're much farther along that most people.
Concerning your friend; all things happen for a reason, and you need as much support as you can get during this time, CW.
NOTHING is ever a coincidence, everything has its purpose, and God DOES send people to help us through certain things in our lives. When they are done they move on to other things.
I've made many connections in my life, but very few of them have stayed. That is for good reason; if I'd kept all those connections, I'd be one busy lady with NO time for anything else. LOL!
The vast majority of people I've helped or counseled have gone on to do other things, and the connection dropped. There has been very few that have come back across my path again...and I accept those for what they are/were; encouragement when I or they needed it, help given, when it was needed, a sense that we're not alone in this world, and there will ALWAYS be someone who appears out of the blue when we need them the most.
The Lord knows our needs before we even ask, and I, too, have been sent many times on a mission to help..and sometimes I did not know until getting into it, a little further, what it was for or even WHO it was for.
Many people have been sent my way, or I've been sent to them...and I accepted this as my life's work long ago, when I was young, dumb, and didn't know any better. I'm sure glad I chose to obey the Lord and His directives; I've met some fantastic people along the way in my life, and I was honored to be a part of their lives for awhile.
The way I see it, I have also been the fortunate one, I didn't just touch their lives, they touched mine as well; and I learned a great deal from those I've helped over time.
I'm here for a reason now; and look at it this way, regarding your friend; she has been sent your way also for a reason, CW, and whatever help she gives, you need it or she would not be there.
Have a great evening; know you continue to be in my prayers.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
