During H and I's convo about OW this week I inquired if it made him uneasy to talk about OW. H said he hadn't really thought about it one way or the other...it was over with and he wasn't losing any sleep over it. I told him that it was easier for me to talk about it openly and straightforward...that treating it like a big secret or something that needed to be hidden and kept quiet tended to cause my brain to go into hyper-drive and I'd end up dwelling on it too much. H said he had no problem with that as long as I was comfortable with it.
Tonight H told me that he appreciated that I did not throw the A in his face and kept discussion of it as casual as possible. Do you and CJ talk about his EA openly or is it something that ya'all kind of just circle around most of the time for fear of upsetting each other? Would it be easier (as it was for me) for you to set aside the vestiges of fear you still experience if you COULD talk about it openly without worry of recrimination? If you think so then you might ask CJ how he feels about it...the worse that could happen is he would say it makes him uncomfortable, right?
I think that this would really be a + for us....right now she's definitely a taboo subject. It even feels weird (least for me) when we're watching a movie or tv and someone has her first name (it's kind of an unusual first name). My hope is that this weekend was a babystep towards just feeling a lot more comfortable being straightforward with each other.
Thanks for the great suggestion! Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
