I know about that anxiety feeling, speculating about things. I'm still trying to internalize that there's nothing I can do to control the things that send me over the edge so I try to let them go, before they become a source or pressure. Every step my W takes toward me has to be her choice, and the thoughts she may or may not have are part of the process of making that choice, or else it's artificial. All I can do is clear the way by focusing on myself. For what it's worth.
So about the computer - this may or may not be helpful, but I'll tell you my take. For me, I've got a big privacy thing about the computer, and will tend to shut the monitor off when W comes into the room, no matter WHAT I'm doing. Examples / reasons include:
- Writing a short story - I just feel exposed in the creative process - Reading / typing on the message board - this just feels private - Playing a computer game - I just feel really silly when someone catches me spending time doing this - Writing email to anyone - - Checking out the BBC "Doctor Who" web site - because this is just plain embarassing...
I hate it when people use my computer because it feels like they're rooting around in my underwear drawer. If your H is anything like me, this incident might not mean much at all, he might just be touchy and private about computer use; I can see myself doing this too and it being totally innocent. Just my two cents - you certainly have a better handle on the sitch, and I don't want to minimze your feelings on it, just contributing my viewpoint.
