But seriously whatnow, I strongly reccomend that if you have a member of your support system that wants to approach your WS who is cheating that you do what you can to educate them on your boundaries and what you will accept being said and what you wont' accept
But, I prefer giving them a script as above... they will usually improvise... but if you give them a script to start from its better than just letting them rip into him blind, they may say something that does damage
When you have a support system member go after your WS, they are acting as an INFORMAL FAMILY THERAPIST
This being the case, the same advice applies that I recommend for the formal FT :
1. KNOW their boundaries 2. KNOW what they will say to WS 3. KNOW what they wont' say to WS 4. KNOW their goals 5. KNOW their plan
All of that applies to both a formal FT going IN, BEFORE the WS talks to them, and this applies to informal FT support group members who wish to approach the cheating spouse
You need to MANAGE the AFFAIR-BUSTING process.. don't hand it over to someone else to manage for you... keep on top of it at all times
Its' ok to have others do work for you, particularly if you are in protection phase that's a must... but you need to be sure WHAT they will be DOING...
It's just like managing any other project in the workplace... you delegate the workload to your team, make sure everyone knows the goal and how you plan on that being achieved
So yes, hand them a script if needs be, or at the very least a list of points you want to get across... the Protection Phase Letter you send your WS is a great start to educating your support group members on where you are at and where you are aiming to end up.
