My detatching is getting very hateful. And there's a lot of anger brewing that I need to set aside for now until he's ready to talk about the R. So I'm going to vent a bit tonight.

Today went fairly well. Goal number 3 was half accomplished: I gave myself a manicure. At an unusual time, 9:30 this morning. You see, I had a field trip with class and our tradition is to go to the trip then meet up at the bar to discuss and let loose. The downside is we usually have school the next day, as is the case today.

Didn't call or text Ex, though the anger building up inside and the isolation here at home is making me want to, if just to scream "you're a great big jerk for x, y, and z" to him. No guitar today, I'm exausted.

Goal 2 definitely went well. Had some girl time with schoolmate M on the drive to the field trip. Aired some grievances about Ex, listened to her grievances about schoolmate P, who is completely smitten by her enough to be used as a rebound for M's former boyfriend. Gave some advice (loving that!). Field trip was just okay. Decided it's not a place I'd like to work, but definitely interesting, none the less. (I should mention here that my future goal is to be an instructor at my current school, and that I invest myself into my schoolmates successes) Made sure everyone had a good question to ask to get their face time in with the "manager" of the company. Then we hit the bar. Some of my schoolmates were already there (we divided our field trip up), and already near the floor.

Had some juvenile fun with Schoolmate S (most of my schoolmates ages are 18-24, so it comes with the territory what I'm about to share) by borrowing 75 cents to go to the bathroom to buy a Pee-Wee brand barrier contraceptive. I'll pause while you all let that sink in wink At some point it was opened and passed around - we had a lot of laughs. I had the BEST burger I've had in a long time, then it was time for some pool. I won the first one for our team, and subsequently lost the second for our team. I quit somewhere in the third and called it a night (er, afternoon). We're a very close group - going to make it excellent for networking purposes after we all graduate. And, of course, they all call me "Mom" because I always talk them out of things I think might be disadvantages in the long run.

Counseled a little in there, which made it a little more exhausting. Sometimes I just care too much and haven't really figured out my limit on empathy just yet.

Spent some quality time with S5 after his school let out. Had a talk about responsibility before leisure. Didn't go so well. Will try again later.

He's playing the wii now and getting tired. All in all, a pretty good day, soon as I can get the Ex's recent flippant attitude out of my mind.

Just wish he'd make more of an effort with his son when it's NOT his day with him - such as when he's so dehydrated I had to take him to the hospital after having the flu. That one is really burning my butt right now, especially since S5 is showing flu-like symptoms again this evening.

Goals for tomorrow:
1. Have to see Ex at exchange, it's his weekend. So polite, short conversations (POLITE, POLITE, POLITE!!). Refuse invitations to spend "family" time together over the weekend - legit excuse: Too busy. Not for his info: work and playing my guitar will barely take up 15% of my weekend, but it still has to be done.
2. Call S5 at 8 Fri and Sat nights to discuss his day before he goes to bed. Avoid ANY contact other than phone transfer requests with the Ex.
3. Find some other things to do this weekend before S5 returns Sunday.

Me: 26
Ex: 27
Son: 5

Divorced: 3/2010
Each day is another opportunity to do it right.