setting boundaries when not clear if A is over

[Piano]

NM and BA,

Blownaway, you are right: my H is deluding himself if he thinks flying in for a few days a month is meaningful parenting.

And NM, thanks for clearly outlining the issues around a newborn, as opposed to older children. A newborn can't leave it's mum's side, so there is no way I will be 'handing over' the child for any length of time for many months to come.

Also, what you said about your child not necessarily bonding with Dad until after the first 3 months BUT that your H bonded to the baby at the birth, was interesting....

I woke up this morning thinking about the A. I think my H is still in the "A fog", or post-affair Fog - whichever it is, I don't know.

It's not often I think of H and the OW together, but my imagination took off & I started to think that my H's evasive behaviour and the absolute refusal to reconcile is either a result of the A continuing, or the worst MLC ever.

Or maybe it's as he said.. he doesn't love me, has been unhappy for years, thinks now is the best time to exit the M.

Have spent much less time crying this week.. feel stronger, but also more numb.

I am worried I don't want to save the M anymore.