Kinda pissed- just realized her move will be taking place on my B-day- Awesome!!
You're kidding right? Tell me you're freakin' kidding. This IS awesome!!! You're getting the best BDay gift EVER!
Here's what you're going to do... you're going to invite ALL your co-workers (except for the bitch of course) and friends and throw one HELLUVA big party. You're going to celebrate both your birthday and your freedom on the exact same day.
Originally Posted By: maynard2121
I have plans to play golf then dinner w/ a few friends...
Cancel them and rearrange for the above.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
I'm sorry, maybe I didn't get this before, maynard... she's moving OUT of YOUR house?
Then she made the moving date your birthday just to get under your skin and make sure you're NOT having a good time on your birthday. Tell her the house will be unavailable until you're around to monitor what is being taken from you, things in dispute can be set aside and disputed in court. If she's mad you want to take your birthday off for yourself - let her be mad. It's YOUR good time she's out to ruin.
God, even I'VE played that game - monopolizing EX's time so SOMEONE ELSE isn't. Duh.
Me: 26 Ex: 27 Son: 5
Divorced: 3/2010 Each day is another opportunity to do it right.
Yea, I know that the move date had been pushed back a few times, W physically has not lived here since 1/28...MIL had issues w/ her job so a few places fell through.
I'm torn between GNO's idea, and just having the place locked down on Sat...sad thing is I know if W is motivated she will pay a locksmith to pop the lock AGAIN...
Yeah, no need for angry people to break into your house. though if she makes a scene in front of a party of friends, she'll quickly be arrested/escorted out. You DEFINITELY need to be present while she's removing items, though. Never know what a person would do in that position.
Me: 26 Ex: 27 Son: 5
Divorced: 3/2010 Each day is another opportunity to do it right.
I agree- still haven't gone over the specifics yet.
Feeling pretty good still...haven't been prescribed anything yet- hoping I've turned a corner...NC is probably the best thing I've doe or could do for myself...I was tempted to issue an e-mail instructing her to go through my friend.
I don't feel it's necessary- W doesn't really contact me anyway- it's almost like we're both going NC.
This weekend will be an exception to some extent...not really anxious about it- once I hear her plans I'll coordinate w/ my golf buddies to see if they are available- I'd like to knock out what we can then go about our day and W will need to wait to finish for Sunday.
I've been guilty of day dreaming that OM will be there w/ the moving truck...I'd make him park on the street and not set foot on the property...I don't know- sick fantasies I guess.
She expects you to be mean and impolite to the OM. Have you considered being polite to him if he's there? That would throw her for a loop - especially if he's the one raising a fuss.
Her internal dialogue: Well, maynard sure is being nice and civil to OM, why can't he behave himself civilly?
That's a lesson I learned too late from a friend who was constantly reminding me to behave kindly to OW, even though she was making constant phone calls to my house insulting me through my answering machine. Don't even know where she got the number. And she's gone, baby, gone now!
Good luck in however you choose to handle this situation. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You have every right to feel good - you're doing the right thing, discovering your patience. It's hard to keep going through this process when the WAS's anger cuts you to the core, and she has absolutely tried with you. Sometimes they don't realize how petty they're being until they've had time to reflect - they're just acting on instinct... and instinct has a way of always wanting revenge, even for imaginary wrongs.
Me: 26 Ex: 27 Son: 5
Divorced: 3/2010 Each day is another opportunity to do it right.
I thought the move was taking place back in Feb at one point and I made it clear to W that out of respect it should be W and MIL only...she claimed to be willing to abide by that.
I've had one previous sitch back before I got sober where my XGF was moving out of her place...I just happened to be nearby and could see the moving van...there was no indication that she was going to move at the time...I tried to recover some belongings and met her OM, now H, it was a terrible experience...
My current sitch has been so messy- I can see why everyone suggests being prepared for the worst...I don't understand how things sour so much, I guess you are right that it is based off of anger, frustration and contempt...
