Third, Do the forgiveness work FOR YOU, not her. She doesn't have to know about it. It's so you are free from the anger that will consume your life otherwise.
We all know, we have all been there; a place where our pain is so great that it impacts all aspects of our life and interferes with our parenting so that we aren't fully present for our children, and our finances fall thru the cracks and we gain or lose weight in an unhealthy way and yada yada yada....forgiving is a gift for you and I never understood that really, until this whole DB thing came up.
I recall thinking my h didn't "deserve" forgiveness, so why do it? But that's b/c I didn't get it. NOW I GET IT and it has very little to do with THEM...it's about US and living our lives with the freedom from their actions hurting us or their crazy choices ruining OUR lives...make sense?
Yes, Yes, YES and YES!!!!!
People you really need to get this point rammed into your skulls and understand the power that it gives you.
Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself, forgive them, let go of the anger and resentment you've had inside of your for weeks, months... gulp.... YEARS and release yourself from that prison that has such a grip on a lot (I actually spelled this as "alot" to begin with but a certain grammar & spelling expert in another thread recently taught me different) of you.
Life will be alot easier once you accomplish this and you'll be kicking yourself later about how much time you wasted before you finally figured this out.
