Hi Sage, I had to read over your post. I was so sad last night and could only think that it was because of all that's happened. I know my H wondered what was wrong with me. I hope he did not think "There she goes again. Into her moodiness." I tried REALLY hard to not show it, but I couldn't help it. I might have told him what I was feeling if I KNEW MYSELF. He must think I will never be happy witht him. I'm still confused this morning about my feelings. I guess I'm just so sad over all that has happened, and wonder if we can ever get back what we once had. This is kind of a new feeling-I've been so busy being "upbeat" that this has hit me pretty hard. I don't like feeling this way. I'm angry that I've been forced to go through all these strong emotions because of what he's done. He seems to be even keel all the time. It isn't fair. I just want to feel "normal" again. It's been so long I hardly remember what it feels like. I guess this is another phase I need to work through. I feel like I have to hide it from my H because I'm afraid he wouldn't understand. If anything he should be helping me through this, but it seems I'm always aware of HIS emotions and adjusting MINE to accomodate him. I'm not sure that's HIS fault. I think the problem is mine. I'm not as good as you at excepting all these emotions and embracing them. This sadness is so profound it almost feels like depression. I DON'T want to go back there. I'm not sure what hit me, but it's hit hard. Not sure what to do with it. All I wnt to do is go home and pull the covers over my head and stay there. What is this?? Rachael
