It sounds like she is looking for attention and not doing it in the right way. She’s hurt and wants you to hurt to show you care. Totally can understand how you’re confused by this. Women stink (being a woman, I can believe this… sometimes I don’t even know what I’m feeling, never mind DH)
I don’t agree with leaving out necklaces or anything like that. I do definitely think that you should let her know in no uncertain terms that you are not ready for divorce and ask what she meant when she said she didn’t see positive changes in you. Perhaps there’s one specific thing she was looking for. Who knows. Tell her you want to know so you can improve yourself for the future so you don’t have the same trouble if you’re worried about her caring too much. Perhaps another talk with the DB coach, if you can swing it? It is expensive. Sounds to me like this is walking a very fine line with using the right DB techniques – you have to do something different, which in this case is giving more attention while still GAL.
Here’s a thought… what originally attracted her to you? What are some of the adjectives (good and bad) she has used to describe you?
I think you’ve done a very good job so far. Hang in there, D doesn’t have to be the end… it may just be another attention getter or it may be that she’s testing you again, looking for the attention/reaction she hasn’t gotten yet.
I know sometimes it feels like we’re all alone fighting the good fight, but you have the boards and she really feels alone, so it’s not as gloomy as you may feel sometimes when the roller coaster is in motion.
