I agree that it is important that the needs of both W and H are met in a M..but sometimes..in the case of an A..it is not caused by unmet needs. Sometimes a spouse seeks something outside of the R that cannot be fulfilled in any stable relationship...drama, secrecy and excitement of an affair.
Also when dealing with a depressed spouse having an A, there is nothing one spouse can do to meet the depressed spouse's needs. They seek an A to provide them with some excitement to temporary lift them out of their depression. The BS can sometimes never meet the spouse's needs..no matter how much they try.
