W officially in R w/ OM-

[newmama]

Well then, filing starts like a piece of paper like Cbug said. It can take a long time to actually divorce.

Since you don't have kids then it will be less paperwork and classes, etc. if you do complete the D.

There will not be less emotional pain. But you can be cut from her.

JUST MAKE SURE that you are filing for the D because you want to cut her out of your life, NOT because you hope it will "wake her up" or bring her back.

[jasper67]

Naturally, there is a little thought that it will shake her- but I do feel it is more fo me at this time.
r
I will not date while still M, nor will I deal w/ this crap anymore.

I want it, she doesn't, I'm willing to work for it, W isn't.

I'll further contemplate the sitch

[newmama]

Maynard, sorry for telling you to date!
I was trying to say w/out being inappropriate that you wouldn't have a problem!

[mindfull]

NM - Quit wiggling your eyebrows at him! LoL J/K

Hey, Maynard - Sorry for the conundrum! We'll pray for ya!

[jasper67]

Thanks Newma and Mindfull

I do appreciate the complement...

Emotionally not in a great place for anyone and the dating thing would be completely self-serving at this time

[ericmsant2]

Maynard -

Outside of feeling a better now that it is over what do you gain by filing?

[jasper67]

I'm not happy that you ask a question like that- it really requires me to think.

You are correct- I guess my wanting or intent to file is no different than W's- it's it make me feel better...

I want to look at the facts as well:

W seriously betrayed me w/ OM1- she told him everything about me-my warts and all- things only she and 3 people know about my past

W has created a new world for herself and character assassinated me to the people occupying that world.

W- in her fog has completly disresepected me and my family

W is a PROUD woman and will not likely recant her decisions, nor be willing to "eat crow" to her friends...

W is having an A- and although confessing to me that she is confused- she has not or will not admit that to anyone else.

AW is not the person I want to be w/...I'm sure she may change- but I fear that I will have changed too much to be willing to go back

If it's a matter of forgiveness- I know that w/ a whole hearted effort on her part to Piece- I will be able to forgive lovingly

W/o that effort on W's part, my forgiveness will cost us our friendship...

I believe that I am worth more and I also believe that W simply will not file b/c she doesn't want the added guilt...


That's all I can think of right now

[4luv]

Maynard,

These are all good points that you have put forth and only you can truly know when you have had enough. You haven't made any quick decisions yet but sit on it for a given time to really come to that conclusion. Serenity13 just came to the conclusion to file but after alot of thought and prayer. There is no right or wrong answer and you will have support either way.

[jasper67]

thanks 4luv- I will take the remainder of the week during NC to further contemplate and pray...

NC might be broken this wk/end due to W's moving...I believe I will construct a way where I will not have to see it or deal w/ it.

[ericmsant2]

Maynard - as 4luv pointed out all very good reason. I just want you to make sure that you are really done. You may have a little left in you but trust me I am not judging you. Either way you go - I know that you will be fine.

God Bless