Calling all affair annihilators & boundary setters

[elscotto]

Courts, I am seeing the same behavior from the OM that my ex is involved with. I talk to the OM's ex a LOT and she says he is always sending her useless crap, questions, etc...He went BALLISTIC when she referred to herself as a single Mom and insisted she was not a single mom because they had a Dad. She told him that he was correct in that they DID have a Dad all the time and still DO have a Dad around 1/4 of the time but that she as still a single Mom.

The interesting thing is that he still wants to do things as a "family." I was talking to my mother about this and this behavior and she was pretty convinced that my Ex has a BIG problem on her hands and that he has not bought into the fact that he just gave up his family life in return for custody 1 week a month. That's a sobering thought--let's do the math shall we? You have a 5 year old that for the next 13 years until reaching the age of majority will have 676 months of living. Out of those 676 months a lot will happen. You are the Walk Away Dad and you just agreed to forgo 507 of those months for the privilege of a woman that you have known romantically for a very short period of time. You get to keep 169 months of seeing them grow up out of 676 months--seems pretty powerful.

My ex and I split custody and I've never said it to her but there is a 50-50 shot that something notable will happen in their lives when they are not living under her roof. 50-50 odds are good in the game of baseball but not what I would want with my kids.

You have a tremendous power over your H and the more you GAL the more that power grows. Stay with it, stay strong, take control, and keep control of your destiny and choose the one thats best for you based on a set of conditions you have created for yourself.

Good luck--you seem solid though.