New here but have been a voyeur

[pearlharbr]

I think there's a difference between giving him a checklist of items to cross off and what your expectations are regarding your M. If you tell him your expectations/wants/needs then it's up to him to figure out how to meet them. At the same time you're not expecting him to mind read and figure out what you're looking for.

Like I said before, I made it clear that we would not even speak (and we didn't) unless/until OW was completely out of the picture. I said I would not be the one he was cheating with (when he first said he wanted another chance he was still seeing OW). That way he can't keep both of you on the hook until he decides what he wants.

If/when you decide you want to go to MC with H, you can still tell him you're ready and leave it up to him to make the appts. That's a big deal for me because I'm always the planner and responsible for things like that. In this case I want BF to be the one to make the arrangements in order to be responsible for some of the repair process.