Too Late For Us?

[Drew]

I was interested in knowing her reaction.

Which means you haven't let go .........

[mrbt]

Yep. I guess if I had really let go I wouldn't be divorce busting. I would just be moving on with my life.

[Drew]

I disagree. And this is a point a lot of people miss ....

You can let go and still want to be married and still DB. In fact, it's a very powerful tool in Divorce Busting, perhaps the most powerful.

Only by finding yourself are you able to fully commit to a loving and intimate relationship.

Be the greener grass.

[jasper67]

I agree w/ Drew here-

[rottzilla]

Divorce doesn't have to be the end.

[Vulcanized]

Yep. I guess if I had really let go I wouldn't be divorce busting. I would just be moving on with my life.

It's an odd dichotomy. You have to let go, for your own sanity, self-esteem, mental well-being. As it stands, right now, you DON'T have a M/R w/W. This doesn't necessarily mean that you won't at some point in the future. I think it is very helpful to focus on this minute, with an eye toward the future.

You can choose to throw yourself at someone who has made it clear that they don't want you [now] or you can retain your dignity and say 'I don't want anybody who doesn't want me'.

It hurts to have to make that choice, but choosing yourself over another feels much better than the other way around. The WS is choosing themself, their feelings, thoughts, OP, whatever, over you. Perhaps the BS should extend the same courtesy.

[mrbt]

Thanks everyone.

Ruined No More, I like your explanation. It all makes perfect sense when you think about it rationally -- its a little harder to implement when your emotions are involved.

[mrbt]

I will return from my trip Saturday night. Any recommendations about how to proceed?

My wife's attorney has the Marital Dissolution Agreement (MDA) and Final Decree (FD) ready for my signature. Once these papers are signed its just a mater of setting a court date.

Do I just go ahead and sign the papers first thing Monday morning? Do I say anything further to my wife? I don't think stalling does me any good. Any comments are appreciated.

[FA]

Have been down the road where it looks like it doesn't matter what you say or do....the problem with the papers are there ready to go is, delaying it basically ticks her off to no end. signing it basically means you accept the fact that you are not controlling her. For one...big weight off her shoulders and she feels she can breath. Two...you get to regroup, think about what to do next with YOUR life...not hers. And three...you have to keep a positive attitude. If she has any soft spot that will warm up to you in the future...it will be when she sees you and hears you...so if it is a positive interaction then it can only go in favor for you.

As previously said by others, the big D is not the end....but the beginning. Learn from your mistakes..don't repeat them and move forward with your life....you'll be surprised....believe me.

[mrbt]

Thanks FA.