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maybe change the word AFFAIR to INFIDELITY...

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mb28 Offline OP
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Why do I have this nasty feeling that the OW has won? And really is she winning anything? NC - day 2


Together 16 years
Married 12 years
Me 36
H 34
D9 & S6
Separated 12/3/09
Confirmed A 1/25/10
Exposed A 1/26/10
H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
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you aren't divorced yet...too soon to worry..nothing is finalized!


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

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Originally Posted By: mb28
Why do I have this nasty feeling that the OW has won? And really is she winning anything? NC - day 2


Human nature. She's won a battle or two; the war is FAR from over.

Puppy

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mb28 Offline OP
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My H unfriended me last night on FB. Then he texted me to tell me he that he thought it was better if we didn't interact on FB. I didn't reply, and I haven't interacted with him on FB. I think it's because the OW is one of his friends on there. Plus about a month ago he removed his relationship status, it used to say married, now it's nothing.

He did go over to my friends yesterday. But because a lot of other people ended up going over to their house, not a lot was said. Here is a summary of what was said:

F: You need to stop playing games and make up your mind. And D is not the answer.

H: I believe it is the answer

F: You have no idea, if that is the route you take you are in for a rude awaking. You think it's hard now, you just wait

F's H: If you D, you will regret it

H: I will regret either decision I make

FH: Maybe, but you can't keep doing this. Your kids are suffering and what you are doing is hurting them. D will hurt your kids. But playing these games is hurting too. If your going to D your family then do it, stop playing games. You are going to regret a D

F: You need to stop playing games with your W, she is done with your drama. Make-up your mind, be a man, and do something.

I guess H just went silent after that, and that pretty much ended the convo.


Together 16 years
Married 12 years
Me 36
H 34
D9 & S6
Separated 12/3/09
Confirmed A 1/25/10
Exposed A 1/26/10
H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
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mb28 Offline OP
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Does anyone else have those days where they just want to call their own L, and end this limbo?


Together 16 years
Married 12 years
Me 36
H 34
D9 & S6
Separated 12/3/09
Confirmed A 1/25/10
Exposed A 1/26/10
H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 438
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MB28,

You have GREAT friends. I love when people say something and don't hide...your husband is going to look back and thank them as well as you. FB is stupid...yes I have a page :-) but it is really stupid. My husband also has an online acct and his relationship status used to be blank but after I moved out he changed it to single :-/ Who cares though...they are acting as children. When my husband text me I am unhappy, I wanted to scream ...WHO CARES...SO WHAT...GROW UP!

I felt like ending the limbo this morning. I felt that I had enough of living in limbo...living at my parents house, not dating, etc. Matter of fact, I just decided that my posts on this site are going to focus on me and not my husband. I am tired of talking about him, talking about what he did, what he said, etc. I just can't take all this focus on him, on us, on the marriage, etc right now. I need a break :-)

Last edited by 4luv; 03/11/10 05:38 PM.

Me: 28
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1st marriage 4 both
1 1/2 year married
2gether for 9
1S: 6months
1stepson: 2yo
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everyday. which is an improvement over every hour!




"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!"
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mb28 Offline OP
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Thank you, that is a good idea. I will try to post at least something once a day about myself.

Today I'm going to see my employee assistance consular. She will be able to get me set up into FT for me and my kids.


Together 16 years
Married 12 years
Me 36
H 34
D9 & S6
Separated 12/3/09
Confirmed A 1/25/10
Exposed A 1/26/10
H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,466
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mb, isn't getting your friends to argue against D major pursuing? And isn't it hardening his stance and backing him into a corner? The thing you've got going for you is your H's confusion, and I'm concerned that having your advocates argue for him (your H probably sees it that way) creates a sense of urgency in your H, which isn't going to help you.

The limbo is hard, but remember you have a choice to step back from the drama and tone things down a bit. I don't want to argue against the advice you're getting here, but there is no emergency here unless you create one.


me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
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