Goodness.. I feel like the fog has lifted. Last week I was inwardly roaring that I had no life, that I stayed withdrawn. Thanks for the consistent messages of my friends here, I started to get off my ass. And it's helpful that the house is being shown more often.
Last night I remember a dream where I kept shedding stuff, letting it go, opening up. Yesterday I decided not to cower and to write the former spouse about a check he owed me. His response was "What about X?" that has no bearing on the check. I've been advised to contact a lawyer if he continues to be uncooperative.
I was fritzing about who to contact.. find a new lawyer, a male one because he does not respect females or use my divorce attorney who I have uneasy feelings about. I'd decided to contact her. If she's supportive, then I'll use her. If not, I'll look elsewhere. However, I just sent the former spouse a note detailing what I need for my taxes. De-Cowering Kathleen.. yeee ha!
Like my mom says.. I take a while to make a decision. A looooooong while. Unfortunately, it seems to be a 9 month gestation period.
I'm starting to change it. A few days ago, I rolled over the portion of the 401(k) from the divorce to my IRA account with the help of my financial advisor. He told me I could wait a few days to think about it. "You said this was the best of all situations, nothing could be better. Let's do it!" And it was done that day!
A friend recently divorced and we talk on occasion. He has a full social life. I'd moan that I'd lost mine as the former spouse no longer wanted to go out during the last year or so of our marriage. Now I accept that socializing is different for a single person. I'm participating in whatever opportunities arise.. like going to play pool with a Parent's Without Partners group, seeing the show with Gardner.. just getting out and about. No more fiddle faddling. Just one foot in front of the other.
