We are ALL a work in progress. NONE of us will EVER finish this work until we leave this earth permanently.
The Bible says we must "strive" to always walk like Christ; and those are some HUGE shoes to fill; but He is always with us, helping us, working on us. He understands us totally, after all, He created us.
Most of all, He loves us..and because He loves us, and wants to see our growth, He allows things to happen to us to make this come about. We sometimes don't see it that way, think He's punishing us for something..but it's not that way at all.
If it weren't for the trials, etc, we experience in our lives, NO GROWTH would come about, and we would become stagnant, stuck, never changing..and life is all about CHANGE.
It's not the changing that we experience, it's how we DEAL with it that makes the difference between becoming better people than we were and the alternative...bitterness, negativity, because we ALLOWED ourselves to just lay down, and bury ourselves within the misery.
Attitude really DOES matter, regardless of what we face in our lives.
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My H is very ill as of late and it seems that he still looks to me for comfort and wants to call me and share immediately if he is on his way to the docs or whatever. Its hard as the W I want to take care of him and now all I can do is say Im sorry to hear that, I hope you feel better, let me know if I can help in anyway.. so robotical and non emotional responses. When inside I am loving him and wanting to wrap my arms around him, lay him down and rub his hair and face like he used to love and just love on him while he is so ill
Sickness is a normal and common thing within MLC; as the crisis/transition presents itself in a physical way, also. They may experience various aches and pains; get VERY sick, and that scares them badly. You hurt where you NEVER hurt before..and feel as though you are breaking apart, breaking down in body...and coupled with the pain with your pysche, it can get pretty bad..to the point you think you're literally dying. This is experienced sometime during the crisis/transition period, and there's not a certain point it happens. It will never truly go away until the tunnel is totally navigated, IF it ever is.
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I wish I could go NC. This would be much better. Its hard seeing him everyday. When he decides he wants to bring dinner for everyone and we sit around and eat together like we once did as a family, he fell asleep last night on his chair as he isnt feeling well and I just found myself glancing over at him, remembering his sweet gentle nature ( THAT IS GONE) and I just prayed silently for him... :o(
God works in mysterious ways, Round2; this is happening for a reason..if you had NO contact; you'd face DIFFERENT problems of a different nature; so deal with what you're dealing with, and ask the Lord to help you with it. He will; I was more able to deal with my husband when the Lord strengthened me..there were times I did wish he would leave..but(and this was in MY situation at the time)I KNEW with a certainty that if he did, he would NOT come back; to him it would be the "point of no return" and his pride would not allow him to crawl back to me....that was and is the core of what he is and has always been.....and they, although, they may do a lot of things, never CHANGE the basic "core" of what they are. See, even though he was "out there" I STILL knew him well. And that's what I have challenged people to remember; they may act strange and all that, but you DO know them, inside and out. And some things come back that way. That is why I've always said the LBS will KNOW what to do and when to do it, if they will JUST LOOK INSIDE themselves..the answers are there, have always been there...the confusion just covers it all up.
I know it's hard; my husband never left, so I got it all in my face; unless he was out on the road. But, be careful what you ask for, you just might get it, and it may NOT be what you really wanted; your emotional state was talking at the time you were asking.
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Sometimes I say, Look God, Im doing so well and getting so strong, please make my family right again,.... its the one thing that is missing, I have everything else.... but I KNOW HE is working on me being OKAY with only HIM and nothing else.....
God works on us in steps that match the type of people we are. He teaches people in the ways that match their learning curves..ever patient, and knows an awful lot of ways to explain things. He was patient with me; though sometimes He DID get frustrated after explaining things in a number of different ways, He knew when to "let go" and allow me to think it all through. Sometimes I had a different question, and that helped clarify what He was trying to show me. Illustrations were the people that were sent to me.
I didn't learn what I had to do overnight, and neither will you. Just continue to trust the Lord with your husband, you and your family.
Also, remember that one of the biggest lessons in all this, is learning to totally trust HIM...people will fail you, He will NOT; He is the ever present help in time of need, and He WILL take care of you and your children, meeting ALL your needs.
When you trust the Lord, you do NOT have to trust in anything or anyone else.
I'm off again to ride the roads; I had trouble getting a pickup number for a load this morning..and hoping what I got is a good one.
Have a good one, let go, let God work in this...when you let go, you don't tie His hands...we oftentimes get in the way of what He's trying to do because we think we know better than He does...and I can promise, we do NOT know any better; we don't see the whole picture; The Lord DOES.
Will check in again.
Much love, HB
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
NONE of us will EVER finish this work until we leave this earth permanently. 
