Quote: Yup. You are totally right...I need to stay in the here and now...figure out how to build on this good stuff...do things differently...
I DID have the realization yesterday that I think I'm struggling a lot with seeing how differently h handles things now...how many changes he has made in himself. Kind of like the WAS who clings to the "old" and can't see the "new" as real or lasting.
Thanks for the reminder to stop looking over my shoulder! Sage
before my seperation (but after disclosure of ow) and long before db when h and I were working on it (I look back now and realize HE WAS working on it I was just freaking out) h made alot of changes...he was trying..he was being him and doing things differently...it freaked me the heck out!
here's a way to look at it..if you cling to the "old" it will be everlasting...viewing things through your "old" glasses will no doubt keep some of that "old" around. Keeping on your "new" glasses and your new way of looking at and reacting (or not) to things is going to keep the "new" here for the long run...and yes sage..it's real! no one is going to say to you..ok you can wake up now.
and if you keep looking over your shoulder you are bound to trip and not see what is in front of you.
