How (and who) to expose if OP is not married

[4luv]

Hi everybody...

Not much to report. I haven't been fully NC. I have talked to husband twice in the past two days for about 3 min total each call. I talked to husband for a quick second yesterday (wednesday) to discuss our taxes and son. I ignored husband's calls on Tuesday except for one which was to tell husband the date of the next FT appointment. (He claims he is coming into town for the appointment but I don't believe it until I see it...I don't think he is ready to get help yet.) He tried to ask me more questions about when I was going to come back to his state to get the rest of my things...told him that he can bring them when he comes to town again and if not I will make my own arrangements to pick up my things. Then he attempted to small talk but I got off the phone. I didn't mention him going on the "date" and I could tell that it threw him off. The rest of the day on Tuesday he kept calling but I ignored and followed Allen's advice to give my phone to my mom. Mom told me that husband was sending text messages (which I later saw). The last text said "I am unhappy." I didn't respond. I felt good all day Wednesday and had a fun day enjoying the day with my son and going to dinner with a friend later that night.

Yesterday when I talked to husband once last night. I made the call because I was in the process of doing our taxes. The conversation was rather cold and to the point but husband did make it a point to ask me how I was. I told him I was fine...then I remembered on someone's post to NEVER use the word fine to a WS. So I retracted and said "I am ok besides the fact that my family is apart." Husband says well no since in crying over spilled milk. I said I didn't mean it that way and then quickly went back to talking about things that son needed that husband is suppose to get. Then husband said that he was still trying to figure out why I said him going on a date was hurtful. I said because just last week he asked what we were doing while separated in regards to dating and I said "dating while married is cheating." He then said well I was asking what you were doing not saying that is what I was going to do. I didn't respond and told him that I had everything I needed to finish the taxes so I was going to go. He laughed and told me to stop trying to be hard. Then he asked if I had anything that I wanted to say...I told him no and that I needed to go and I hung up. He called right back, I answered, he asked another tax question which I didn't really need to answer so I hung up again.

Again even though I talked to him once yesterday I let him get under my skin. I guess I do need to send the NC email :-( Part of what is making this difficult is that my mom keeps telling me that I am playing games especially when I ignored all his calls on Tuesday. I just didn't want to be controlled by when husband was calling me. But I felt so much better when I am not worried about when he is calling me, etc. I went two full days of NC on Sat and Sun so I know I can do it but this feels like its turning into a game with no end in sight. When does NC end? Do I end it when I feel detached enough? And then what happens to in the mean time during NC?