The problem is that you are competing with a physical addiction. Ever heard of someone becoming addicted to alcohol, drugs/painkillers/ cocaine/heroine etc... and getting strung out and losing their job--life--family? Of course you have. You WAS is going through a lot of the same and has been for sometime. Doing brain scans on people that are "in love" with EA's has yielded very similar results to someone who has ingested drugs such as cocaine in that the pleasure receptors in the brain are on full alert. They NEED the "fix" the OM/OW provides. As with many drugs the tolerance also goes up and at some point--unless the "in love" has a chance to grow into a "partnership based on shared goods and bads of experiences" the OM/OW is no longer able to supply the excitement and aura of mystique that was once the powerful attraction.
Now, and unfortunately for you, your kids, and everyone else you have someone who has caused immense collateral damage to everything around them. You got caught up in the grenade blasts. The WAS no longer has the opiate they once had and that you culd not supply because you were caught up in those mundane things in life such as paying a mortgage, paying for electricty, and kids tuition. Remember, the OM/OW didn't have to supply real life stuff to your WAS--they got the easy part.
With life no longer being what the WAS spuse expected its likely they would like to make another o at the life they once had. You'll most likely have moved on by then and are fully embracing a life without your WAS. This will be toguh on you and your WAS spouse because you have been on a tour of making yourself a better person--and you will have succeeded. Your WAS probably won't be that attractive to the new you.
I think we have our own script really.
Take care
I'm not sure i want to be married to you anymore - 8-30-09 ILYBINILWY = 9-4-09 Busted her on a date 9-19-09 Separation - 9-21-09 Divorce - 10-9-09 S15 S13 S10 M - 18 Years
