HI Aver! THANK YOU for the compliment. Its nice to know that my ramblings help! Its been a long road and I've worked VERY hard to get here. I'm glad its paying off - for me and others!
Please Please Please don't beat yourself up. Each one of us handles these sitches differently. Anytime you want to compare just remember... I've had MASSIVE amounts of therapy!! I went 2X a week for 3 months, 1X a week for 2 months and have been going every other week only for the last month. Sometimes early on I went 3X a week. I've put in the time and the effort to be here... and the $ for that matter! THATS what I determined was going to be the thing I needed to help me with my PMA and my overall mental health. You need to decide what that will be for you - its different for all of us. I had major mental health issues I needed to resolve in addition to dealing with the death of my marriage. This is a grieving process and everyone grieves differently. There is no "right" way, no "right" time line. Cut yourself some slack!!! I've done NOTHING but work my job and focus on ME. NOTHING but that for 6 months. I'll run down the list of things I've read in a separate post. I've been obsessed with "dealing" with my issues as expediently as possible. That's how I chose to deal with this sitch. You don't have to be like me to be successful!
I posted this on Minfull's thread (?) to you too and I'm going to post it here. Self Confidence is what you need to work on. Nothing else. YOU HAVE it all - but you lack the confidence to see it in yourself. You are stronger than you think - we all are deep down - and I think (IMHO - I'm by no means a professional) THAT'S the main issue with you. Courage is being scared to death... but doing it anyway. You have shown that you have courage! I think the part you are missing is confidence! Perhaps THAT should be something you focus on in counseling... not how you measure up to my goals. My goals are mine - you need to decide what YOUR goals are and how you measure up to them! Not that they can't be some of the same goals/achievements... but they should be on the list because they are important to you... not because someone else has accomplished them. (I'm still totally flattered though!)
Deep down, at the end of the day, despite everything, I'm so HAPPY and GRATEFUL for the wonderful life I DO have... I'm confident - I truly believe - that everything happens for a reason and the right things, the things I need in my life, will be there for me when I need them. Even though I can't see them, or see how they will appear, or even see how its not totally impossible, I STILL have FAITH the right things will come. I believe that if I live my life, everyday, being the best person I can be, things can't help but go my way! ... YOU need to find that point of faith/belief in you - however you do that - religion, therapy, whatever it is - you need to find it. When you do - that's the point where you realize you can do anything - alone - and not feel alone or awkward. You are totally comfortable and confident in yourself and your own skin.
This is my own personal opinion and personal take on life... and its my thread.. so I can post whatever I want ... So take it FWIW... I'm done rambling now....
I get all philosophical when I take cold medicine....
T
Last edited by talia; 03/11/1003:21 PM.
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
Its nice to know that my ramblings help! Its been a long road and I've worked VERY hard to get here. I'm glad its paying off - for me and others!
I went 2X a week for 3 months, 1X a week for 2 months and have been going every other week only for the last month. Sometimes early on I went 3X a week. I've put in the time and the effort to be here... and the $ for that matter! 
THATS what I determined was going to be the thing I needed to help me with my PMA and my overall mental health. You need to decide what that will be for you - its different for all of us. I had major mental health issues I needed to resolve in addition to dealing with the death of my marriage. This is a grieving process and everyone grieves differently. There is no "right" way, no "right" time line. Cut yourself some slack!!! I've done NOTHING but work my job and focus on ME. NOTHING but that for 6 months. I'll run down the list of things I've read in a separate post. I've been obsessed with "dealing" with my issues as expediently as possible. That's how I chose to deal with this sitch. You don't have to be like me to be successful!
... So take it FWIW... I'm done rambling now....
