Loved and Supported...

[sage]

LL -- thanks

Only thing I can say is look at how your r with h is now as compared to during his friendship with ff that became ow...how are things different now. Keep up with your progress and let h be responsible for himself.

Yes...you're totally right about this. It's apples and oranges now and it's KEY that I don't withdraw from h out of insecurity or fear. H IS responsible for himself...must remind myself of this again and again.

not that they are interested but perhaps are looking for a tad of jeolosy or concern or maybe just an ego boost. ok I'm getting off course but some things are just spinning in my head now...

I dunno...in the past my expressions of concern or jealousy were NOT well met -- I'm sure it was because they were accusatory or displayed a lack of confidence in myself or him. I would absolutely HATE it (really, really, really) if mentioning this person was h's way of articulating to me that he needed something MORE from me or different or was unhappy or whatever. I'd actually been thinking that his mentioning her was his way of "doing something different" -- being more open and honest about her and giving me an opportunity to NOT react. I DON'T KNOW.

since there has been an issue in the past about your "jeolosy" concerning h's ff's (damn it why does he need ff friends...what ever happend to "the guys") but there is/was obviosly something he was getting from them...hmmm...how to say this...I have noticed that quiet often h compliments you, praises you etc. You have stated here many times how lucky you are and what and awesome h you have..have you told him these things? not saying you are in any danger but just incase your fears and doubts concerning h are showing through more than your thoughts of how great you really think he is..perhaps pumping him up a tad and letting him know that his beautiful supportive wife thinks he rocks too! might just deter him from the lil ego boost recieved from pathetic ow's.

OK -- so here's what I can do... You know that drinking game where you watch a tv show and everytime they say a word you have to drink? Well...I'm gonna get drunk everytime he says her name. Just kidding.

INSTEAD of internally freaking out (and to be HONEST -- I'd actually been doing GREAT with this until today. I mean, really, really great -- didn't even feel any flutters! And even today I didn't feel like something was going ON I just felt like "for crying out loud...WHY do I have to deal with this?")...anyway...I digressed...everytime he mentions her name, I will take it as a reminder that I should fill h's love tank...speak his LL (what the hell is it???? Acts of Service? QT?). I will delightfully and lovingly be reminded that his needs NEED to be fulfilled and who better to do that than his fabulous, gorgeous, self-confident, smart wife???

ok and regarding the ball...hon, if it's called a ball..you wear your gown and be proud that you are a classy beautiful lady and too bad if others wear pantsuits.

Thanks friend...this helps a lot.

Sage