He could just be calling to check in...and came up with reasons to make the call. My H would do that often during the past 2 months of separation. He would want to come see the dogs, pick up this, pick up that...ask about certain things. My H would also look the house over from top to bottom...bathroom drawers, freezer...he appeared to want to know what was going on..but would rarely ask questions. One time he was in the fridge and made a comment..."all this food for one person?"...and looked back at me as if I was going to provide him with an explanation.
I guess my point is..do not read into it too much. If he is in lala land..nothing he does makes sense anyway. Awest is right- just answer the questions..don't try to drive the conversation..force him to make conversation..and if he doesn't...make a clean exit.
The first time I saw my H after we separated was a disaster (well it felt like it). I met him at the bar we always would go to for dinner. It was only a week or two after we separated..we decided we werent going to talk about our R...but of course the conversation kept coming back to that. I did not read DR and probably made all the typical mistakes. I felt like I was out to dinner with myself. It actually made me feel terrible and hopeless.
The last time he came to the house..I grabbed a magazine and plopped on the couch...and...he came over and sat in the room with me and started bringing up conversation. For the past few weeks- he has been the ONLY one to bring up R talk. ....and most importantly...it isn't really what you say during these conversations..it is how you say things. Sound upbeat, unbothered...perhaps even a bit disinterested (although I am not sure that is the right word I am looking for)...Pretend like your current situation is not consuming your every thought and he is no longer the center of your universe.
