AYK, Round2 gave you some very wise advice, I'm going to take it as well.
Throw yourself into the farm house you bought. Make it a wonderful home for you and your kids. I can attest to what taking an old house and giving it new life can do for your PMA. The results are something you can see and take pride in everyday. It is also a great GALing activity, and is something that can satisfy the fixer in you. Just remember that you can't fix this for your W, only God in His own time can do that. Get out of the way, love from a distance, and work on yourself for yourself.
