Quote:
In late summer of 2008 we had gone to a picnic and I got totally bombed. In fact, stupid drunk. I dont get like that too often. Anyway when we got home, of course I wanted her and I to make love. Well, she wasnt into it.
( I apologize again that i need to be graphic) sorry..
Instead I had asked for W to perform oral sex on me. Well, she did but now I find out that this is a big problem for her.
You see, I was very agressive with her. I complained a that she wasnt doing it right, and that I couldnt get off.
She now tells me that she was scared, that she has never seen me like that. The look in my eyes scared her.
I know I was very drunk, and repeatedly apologized to her.

We had left home after that and went to a friends home. I told her there "jokingly so I thought" that she was a terrible c*&ksucker... Terrible, I know. I am ashamed and have told her that too. I embarrassed her and degraded her. I cannot express how aweful I feel that I did that to her.



Nice guys don't do things like that.

You WANT to ALWAYS be nice. Always.

Being nice means that if your wife wants a divorce or wants you to leave her alone, that you DO leave her alone and that you DO have the self esteem to allow her to have her own feelings and thoughts on what she wants...without trying to do all sorts of acts to show her how "wrong" she is and doing all sorts of things to suddenly pressure her to come back to you now that you have had an awakening. Nice guys don't do those things......

Being nice does NOT mean that you pursue a woman who acts and says that she no longer wants to be with you. Being nice does NOT mean that you send her flowers and tell her you will rub her feet, and do the dishes and do all the housework and allow her to come and go as she pleases, while she says and acts like she wants out of the relationship. That is NOT being nice, but being stupid.

I consider myself and my wife would consider me an extremely nice guy. She wouldn't have married me if I wasn't a nice guy.
grin (some women on HERE would disagree with that.) Doesn't MATTER to me. What matters is what my WIFE thinks of me and what I think of myself.


However. She knows that I am SOOOO nice that if she had an affair that I would be nice enough to not only let her go, but that I would WANT her to go. I am so nice that I don't even share my wife with another man. I am so nice that I would NOT even fight for her to win her back. I am so nice that I would immediately start going out and having the time of my life and enjoying many many things that I don't do because I am married and because I am SUCH a nice guy.

Why? Why should I? I AM already a nice guy.


Lose the terms..... Call it anything you want... Nice guy, jerk, A-hole, moron, idiot.. etc....

Whatever we call it, chasing and pursuing someone who does NOT want you does NOT work to win them back very often. RARELY...

I consider Puppy a very nice guy... I bet his wife considers him a nice guy. In my view. The nice guy DOES have a good chance to reconcile with his wife.
And his best chance for that is to be nice enough to let her go when she moves away from him emotionally. Nice enough to know that he WILL be perfectly fine if she so chooses to leave him or start a relationship with another man.

ALWAYS be nice......

More important.... BE WISE.... Wisdom is what you need here. The wisdom to really really figure out the difference between what works to win a woman back and what doesn't.


Don't get caught up in terms or definitions.... Ok.. Call yourself a nice guy. Ok. Let women tell you they want a nice guy. Be wise and figure out what traits that guys have that are successful with women demonstrate. Then do those things. Then call yourself a nice guy. Makes no difference who puts what term on you. Do WHAT works...