hope you enjoyed your movie sage. so many good things happening to you and hubby and just think, that dreaded anniversary date is OVER and done with!!!
just think where you will be NEXT year at this time, if you are having this much good this year!!!
just felt like being social and saying a hello to you...I'm not much for the no post posting but I wanted you to know that I do read your thread often it's just that you are to darn good at doing all the work yourself that you don't need me anymore. I'm proud of how far you've come since your first postings in piecing...I did take a look back at that thread once and wow have you grown and learned to recognize all the good that is going on.
Thanks so much for the visits and the positive vibes! I can FEEL them!
Hard to believe it's 5:30 and it's my first post on my thread of the day...it's been a hellish day both work and schoolwise.
h and I had a nice relaxing time yesterday! We went to see "Runaway Jury" which was a bit over the top but definitely had us interested. We relaxed in the afternoon, watched some TV, got take out. A very good day!
Today I've been "off" and it seemed like when h called this AM that he was too (an ASSumption).
Let me start off by saying that this is just a mild blip...and that's cool...and we're all entitled to have "itchy butt", etc.
It was a combo of things...h didn't call until 10am (2nd day this week that the AM call was kind of later than expected)...this bums me out..I LOVE the idea of him not be able to wait to call me...(cheeseless tunnel!)...anyway...the conversation was quick because I was running to a meeting...he sounded SHORT with me...I was not entirely focused...etc. Add a day of stress from work + school plus him catching up on his homework plus he has class 'til 11pm tonight, etc, etc. The "Piecing Panic" of the last few days/weeks has hit me, too...just a little bit of "what if" that I could do without.
Since this afternoon I've received a couple of lovely emails...definite thawing on both sides.
I'm gonna go home...get some good take out...do some yoga (hi, holdingon!)...check in on you guys...all that good stuff.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Thought I'd stop in and say hello Glad you got past the "day" and things look to be going great with you and H
Quote: The "Piecing Panic" of the last few days/weeks has hit me, too...just a little bit of "what if" that I could do without.
I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't seasonaly/weather related. The holidays are coming up...traditional symbols of home,hearth, family unity and all that...so many of us are in tenuous places in regard to those "traditional symbols". The weather has gone off the deep end (82' yesterday, 47' today here!) and I know for me can have a big affect on my mood.
Just some hypothesizing
Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
Morning all, It's going to be a heck of a day today (busy work, leave early for school, paper due) so I probably won't be on much until tonight (at least I SHOULDN'T be on much!!! Bad, Bad!)
I've been acting like a bottomless pit with h for the last couple of days. OK...I haven't been ACTING like it but I've been FEELING it...overly sensitive, working with ASSumptions and EXPECTATIONS. Arrgh. Not good.
It's pretty clear that he's sensing it too...I feel like we're both sort of circling each other a bit...How are you? I'm good, and you?
The wonder, though, is that in the midst of the fear (mine for sure -- his?) and confusion and tension he still says with all earnestness "ILY". I know that he's reaching out to me when he says this.
I think I rattled on about the whys and wherefores of my angst lately...did I also mention that I feel a bit exposed? Anxiety and fear are a bit higher than normal? Earlier this week (this past weekend?) I uncovered a bit more of what I protect...the feeling of aloneness and sadness. I think taking the next layer of protective clothing off of that has had an impact .. ah, well...gotta sit thru it.
Positives: 1. h sent a bunch of loving emails towards the end of the day. He even wrote out I Love You (instead of just ILY) which kind of made it feel even more powerful.
2. h listened to me rant about school and work last night (even though he had just come home from school and a long day himself....HMMMM...note to self...maybe ranting was NOT particularly necessary after he's had a TREMENDOUSLY long and pressure filled day??????). Anyway...he asked a few times what he could do to help. Was very responsive and validating. I left him a note this AM thanking him for listening.
3. the new movie schedule for our favorite old time movie house came out. H highlighted a bunch of movies...looks like I've got quite a few movie dates over the next 2 months!
As I just wrote all of this it really hit home to me how reactive and distancing I've been with h and how really present he's been with me over the last few days.
My Cainercast: Other people have faults. We have foibles. Other people are inconsistent. We are adaptable. Other people are unreasonable. We are justified. And, of course, they feel exactly the same about us. If only we could extend to the wider community, the same amount of sympathy, tolerance and understanding that we provide for ourselves and our loved ones. Somehow, the coming harmonic concordance is helping you increase the number of people who you can truly trust and clearly communicate with.
Make it a good one, folks! sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Morning Sage! I will be with you in spirit as you make it through your busy day!
It's very good that you are *aware* of how you are feeling and acting around h. I KNOW that they pick up our vibes. what are they, insects? Fortunately, your h is handling it very well! He's not backing off, he's not getting defensive, he is listening to you, and ASKING what he can do to help!! How awesome is that???
I understand about your exposure too. Did anyone (a C or a self-help book) ever tell you that when you open yourself to let love out, the hate comes out too? I'm not sure what exactly we are supposed to do with it, and if it runs out...ha ha...but as we open up our "boxes" there's all kinds a' junk in there!! I think the goal is that the positive will help to overcome the negative.
Last night, I read more of your Old-old thread and read about what your parents did to you. My dad once stopped in the middle of a 3 lane highway (I think I was about 4) and said that he was going to stay there until a semi came and killed us all. (Mom, sis, him, me). My dad was very violent and no, my mom did not protect us. It's extremely frustrating-first as a child not knowing what the he!! to do, then as you grow up and realize what your parents did or didn't do that makes you very ANGRY? did you see "pretty woman"? RG says, "it cost me $10000 (or 8 i don't remember) to say that I am verrry aaangry with them." kinda funny if you remember it.
Anyhow, we have a deeper hole than some people, and you know how challenging it can be to fill it, and how EASY it is to want someone else to do it FOR us! I had those expectations of my husband. But, as we all know-it's our job, not theirs.
What kind of things make you TRULY feel good about yourself? A special gift? Taking care of needy children? Making people laugh or feel special? Can you capitalize on these things to "fill your own love tanks" so you feel less dependent on H to be filled up? (I'm speaking to myself as well!)
Glad you got past the "day" and things look to be going great with you and H 
JK!
