Ok so after being attacked the other day I had sworn off the thought of ever posting here again, but after all that has been written here I want to have my say.
I was on these boards for a longtime (under a different name)until my divorce. I remember HB. She was leaving as I showed up. Say what you will but what I do remember about her was that she was always kind and patient. It saddens me to see this board and some of the "oldtimers" on it fighting for somekind of pecking ordet. Ian is so right. This board was and can be a lifesaver, but carrying on like this serves no good.
When I came on the other day and posted on BND's thread asking, "what purpose did making fun of her husband have to do with anything at this stage of the game", I knew that I was risking the wrath of BND. I had seen it directed many times to people who didn't agree with her way of thinking. As is her mo she came on and talked down to me as if I were an idiot with no sense of humor. As if this wasn't enough, I was also reemed by many of her "friends" all for not finding her charming and funny. I thought her marriage was now going well, but I also know that happy people, truly happy people, don't need to knock others down to make themselves feel superior. We can always fool others but we have to live with the truth, so it doesn't matter why I think she posted that or why she is threatened by HB. She knows the truth and why posting that felt good to her.
People have lots of reasons for resurfacing. I myself have been through the whole deal and have come out the otherside. Life is good, social life and worklife are great, I had truly moved on. Suddenly my ex decides to awakens from whatever and have an epiphany. Truly I never thought this would happen. After much soul searching I know in my heart that I don't want him back. I feel that I've done a lot of growing and soul searching. In short, I am a far different person then I was when he left. I came back here to remind myself all that I had gone through to make a life and to get back to my "Happy" place.
Ian made so many good points. Some people need the attention and adoration that newby's so willing give for some insight that can help. We all know how desperate we are for any help when we first land here. I really question the motives of posters who are back together with their spouse but still have a need to be here. WHY? Shouldn't their energy be going into the relationship and rebuilding of their marriage? At least HB has admitted that she has some new issues, so why the attacks? Could it be that some of us feel as if she's stealing the thunder?
Oh and sorry J3B, your answer to Ian's questions are just plain lame.
