SO, the mother in me wants to protect them from being hurt..I also don't want to DEAL with it and all the emotions that go with it..I need to focus ON ME and work ON ME and NOT always fight the daily battle in my head about HIM HIM HIM.... Always waiting everyday for his change in plans, he is ALWAYS sick and isnt available to them, etc....
I can TOTALLY understand your concern for your children. We, as parents never want to see them hurt for any reason. Like I said, the decision to move or not is up to you and you alone. You'll get it figured out; I'm pretty sure of that. He has STILL not given me an answer, I'm still thinking it's up to you, as He is silent on that. There is a question that comes up, though...What do YOU want to do, R2? It's an open field at this point; something to think about.
You DO need to focus on YOU; the emotions that go with this battle are ones that WILL have to be dealt with, and those will be waiting for you within your journey. I had to deal with them as I began mine through. It wasn't easy, you literally run the gauntlet of emotions..and at times you feel you're going crazy, but you're not; this is all a part of it.
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I do believe he is reaping what he has already sown, bills are piling up on him..I have always worked, have always made a better living, so with him wanting to do this it has caused him to see just HOW expensive it will be... and he is always ILL....he can't catch a break he says...Im like... "DUH" but I just giggle silently on the inside and pray for him...
LOL, it is OK to laugh at what they've gotten themselves into; they made this mess, now they have to suffer the consequences of their actions. But, his reaping is not done by a long shot; there's more to come as time goes on. And I see that you don't want to be around to see it.
Our son is 23, and I've watched some of his struggles, and it's HARD to stand back and watch him go through...I want to fix it for him, but I understand I cannot. He is working full-time, then coming home and looking after my husband who broke his ankle over two weeks ago, he's cooking, cleaning, housekeeping.....he has been a blessing to us both. He loves to cook, but hates to clean up...when I'm home and he cooks for us, I do his clean up for him, in return for his cooking for us. He is following, more or less, in my footsteps, strong in the Lord; many of his gifts are stronger than mine. It is as it should be though, he is young and gaining more and more in strength as each day passes.
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I have to say, I am almost 40 myself and for a woman as young as 43! WOW....do you have an abundance of knowledge and inner strength and how GOD has Blessed you! I too hope and pray someday that God will resinate in me as HE does in you! I grow more and more each day... I thank God for being my rock and my soft place to fall... What a BLESSING you are to so many of us!
I am nothing except for what God gives me to give to others. I thank you for what you say, but if God wasn't with me; I would be unable to do what I try to do each day. I'm always humble within His Presence, a product of His Grace. He gets all credit for who I am, and what I've become in a short period of time. I learned quickly, and that was more to do with me, than with Him...He allowed me access to the tools, I learned to use them. I'm not perfect, I make many mistakes, I'm a human being. I have felt many times I was not qualified to do what He's helped me to do; but I have learned that God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called...and I suspect I'm one of the latter.
You're strengthening as each day goes on; you're still hurting, yes, but His strength is kicking in to help you see your way through this.
Will check in again.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
