Wholeagain, part 2

[Wholeagain]

Hi CTH,

I mostly treat my thread as a journal for my rants and raves and miss filling in. I think a part of it is that I am not sure what the events are as they unravel. I tend to mull things over to understand what is going on. You know how you go through stages of denial, bargaining, etc. This is not happening, nothing to write about. Then "it's not really what it looks like". And so on until some time after the fact.

PMA was not triggered by anything. I think I hit my lowest, cried for a day or two. And then BOOM! I can build a brand new life, do what I love and have fun, have a new circle of friends who share my passions. No reason to not be happy! What on earth was I so upset about?

Then I made my last attempt to arrange moving the rest of my things from the house without going a legal route. No change there: back and forth e-mailing with no result. Maybe it makes me angry because it implies I am not good at negotiating, I don't know.

[Wholeagain]

I don't want frustration to drag me down. I feel frustrated and feel like I'm getting a cold.

I want to keep my PMA. I get all negative thinking about legal stuff. The only positive is that once it's over it's over.

[Wholeagain]

Problem solving and emotional reaction is all intertwined.

I need to be collected when I talk to a lawyer. I'll collect my thoughts and write them down. Sometimes you feel lost because legal POV and phrases are all different from your own.

[Wholeagain]

I think I have a fear I would make things worse. At the same time I realize things are not good and they will get worse if I won't do anything.

I should give myself a break, do what I can as it goes without worrying if I could do better, keep plugging along.

[CityGirl]

I think it is a very good idea to write down all your questions and concerns before you meet with your attny.

And don't be afraid to let the attny know if you don't understand or feel confused about they are telling you. Most attnys know how emotionally charged a divorce is and realize you are not versed in legal language.

Be strong. You can do this! I will be sending you good vibes!

[Wholeagain]

CG, thank you for sending me good vibes, I got them!

A meeting with my attny went well. I still get that uneasy feeling, I guess no one feels easy dealing with legalities of D.

[CityGirl]

I really can relate to that uneasy feeling when dealing with the attny and all the legalities of divorce. It is scary and overwhelming but you know what, you will get through it.

Keep catching my good vibes

[Wholeagain]

Thank you CG. I appreciate that.

((()))
All these rules what you can or cannot do without any consideration to your feelings. I get "What else do I not know?" running in the back of my head.

[Wholeagain]

Argh, I hate that feeling that I was meant to do something important, but cannot remember what that is.

[Wholeagain]

I am frustrated he can be a jerk and can get away with it. Makes me think it doesn't matter what I do, I'm there to lose.
Rant over.