I guess like all men on here we all thought that being nice was the right thing to do!... NOT!!
Being nice IS the right thing to do.
Being passive is NOT. This is neither a male or female trait.
If you don't respect yourself, whether it's standing up for what you want or telling someone else to treat you better, then no one else will respect you.
And the last time I checked, neither gender seemed to say that respect was a male or female characteristic.
It's a very hard time, and there's a lot of emotions that go on when a marriage falters. But one thing that helps me is to think that it's less about you then you think it is. If my husband had respected himself, he wouldn't have had an affair and he wouldn't have tried to hide it. If he respected himself and wanted to be with another woman, he would have come to me before the affair, said he wanted out, and left.
If your wife respected herself, she wouldn't go around sneaking behind your back.
So remember that respect goes in a lot of different directions, some of it can't help but to intersect with you, but some of (and only you or your wife knows how much) has to do with your spouses feelings of self-worthlessness.
