It's complicated but it's mine #28

[Yoyowife]

Kat,
I'm so sorry to hear all of this. I have not been on the boards for a couple of days.

Everything will be fine. I know right now it doesn't seem like it, but it will be. You are a wonderful mother and person.

Social Services are doing their job, but it's awful you are having to go through this. Think of it this way, at least you know they are doing their job to protect other children. So many kids have slipped through the cracks, I believe they are much more likely to follow up on complaints due to bad press.

Hugs

[kat727]

I know they are doing their job but it doesn't make it any less hurtful. This just came out of the blue. The thing that makes me think it could be his girlfriend is that ex made a comment yesterday about being mad that he doesn't have more time with the kids. He said he doesn't want to drag them kicking and screaming but that it has always bothered him. The girls have told me that they can't wait until they don't have to be there. For now they make the best of the situation.

Gee doesn't this sound like a perfect solution to that problem? I suppose it doesn't matter who said what or did what, I am now going to have my life looked at. I can't help but think, what if I am not good enough?

kat

[mishka422]

Kat,

You are MORE than good enough. You are obviously an exceptional mother. Just look how much the kids all want to stay with you and not xh. That should tell the tale.

Yes, they will put you under a bit of a microscope, but seriously, they aren't going to take kids out of a home where they want to be unless it is truly unsafe. You aren't a hoarder, you don't live in filth, you do the very best with what you have and you do lots of special things with them. What more could anyone expect? You are a loving parent and it's natural to worry but look at your accomplishments.

[kat727]

I did ask D11 what kind of things they asked her after she got back from being with ex. One of the things was if I did things with them. D11 says yes. Mommy is saving right now to make the next thing more special. (Then because she loves to explain) she says that the first thing we did was special and the next thing was better and the next one was even better still. I think she was trying to explain our adventures that I have been taking them on since we seperated.

I asked what did the lady say about that and D11 said that she just smiled. I know D11 has been dying to go another adventure so I am really looking forward to next week.

I will try to keep thinking about that and hope that this mess is resolved by then.

kat

[MichelleLT]

Lol. You have some darling kids.

Why someone would wait years after the incident to complain is just bizarre. But I'm glad there don't seem to be any other allegations besides the possible mold.

You are getting great advice.

You haven't done anything wrong.

Everything will be fine.

And someone will get their karma for causing you this pain.

[kat727]

The thing is I don't even know what the complaint is. I don't know if they are saying that I don't feed the kids, let them bathe, wash their clothes or what. The kids said they asked if we had mold in our basement.

My c said that they will come and make sure that I have food in the cupboards and in the frig. I imagine they will make sure my water runs, my lights are on, the heater is on. I really just don't know.

As I mentioned ex tried to move the spotlight on to one of the parents of S17's friends that practically lives over at our house. Why would they even be griping about my basement when no one for the most part goes down there?? He couldn't name who it might be.

Hopefully this will be cleared up soon now that they have interviewed all my kids. I don't think I am supposed to know that they did this behind my back. UUUGGGHHH

kat

[kat727]

Oh so the drama continues. I went by the hardware store over lunch and ran into an old friend that used to be a police officer. I told him what was going on and asked him what to do. Her said to call them and find out why they were interviewing my kids.

Now who ever wanted to do this either knows the system or was persistent because I am having a hard time just figuring out who to call. Finally called the High school and they are giving me the phone number.

I am actually talking to the Social worker right now and it has got to be ex and/or his girlfriend that filed this complaint. They stated that I was physically neglecting and emotionally abusing my kids.

kat

[mishka422]

HOLY CRAP!!! Physical neglect and emotional abuse? WTH? That's twisted!

[kat727]

So I end up talking to the gal for about an hour. I know, my boss was out of town and this was killing me. Anyway, she reads off all of this stuff like I come home and go right to bed, don't spend anytime with the kids, that they have to cook their own meals and make their own lunches, that they can only take a bath on Sunday and Wednesday(these are the days I make the girls wash their hair) and that I don't watch them do their hair, that I make S17 buy them fast food all the time using his own money, they have body odor and wear dirty clothes. Also the boys especially have no social skills what so ever and aren't ever taken out anywhere by me.

Well to say some of this stuff you would have to be in the house at some point. Ex knows those are the days I have the girls wash their hair. He knows that the kids make their school lunches the night before. He also knows that S17 will want fast food and call him trying to get him to buy them some or will use his own money to go and get some. So he took some of our family stuff and twisted it to make me sound awful.

He is such a liar. It had to be him or her there just isn't any other explanation(well I suppose in-laws) but the result is the same. anyway the social worker who was really nice said she was going to speak with her supervisor and see if they can close this as of tomorrow because there isn't any merit. Huge weight off my shoulders. You guys are awesome.

Love, kat

[mishka422]

Good Lord!

They will take a report about anything won't they? God forbid the kids have to make their own food. Wouldn't that be making the self-sufficient? What a load of crap. Kids are kids too! They hate to bathe and will pull all sorts of tricks to avoid it. Who cares? Crap! Now I'm getting worried Gabe might turn me in for not having Marc's hair cut and letting him wear jeans with holes in them to school. Just kidding. If he dares do that he'll be sorry.

Dang! I thought you and your xh were getting along ok. What a jerk!