As a casual observer it seems like you are way to available to him. If your goal is to keep him close to you that is one thing. However, if you are doing things to create an action or a reaction from him your setting yourself up.
This is where boundaries have to be drawn and enforced. I know you want to be nice and make everything flow smoothly but there are ramifications to D. Not saying that it is your job to punish him or anything like that but you need some space for yourself. If his constant contact about changing the schedules is a problem set a boundary that tells him its not ok to always interfere with "your" time with the kids.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
I know that I can stop doing things for HIM, but how do I handle things when the kids are involved? He is VERY much involved with them. They are with him Monday and Tuesday nights and every other Friday/Saturday. They are very busy with ball----at his direction. How am I supposed to handle this? I'm sorry----but I am not helpless----I can DO anything, and manage everything on my own---I don't ask HIM for help or ask anything of him. However, I am hopeless when it comes to this. I DO NOT get how I can separate without making my kids suffer...........I'm serious, I need help with this.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
his nights, he feeds them...no questions when he has then, he buys then shampoo when they need something and are with him, he gets it for them
this is not about your kids suffering... I get that, my boys' dad would take them and not feed them or bathe them I documented it what he did on his time that wasn't HARMFUL to their well-being (being dirty doesn't pose a threat to their life)was his own business and then became the courts business
this is about allowing them all to make their own relationships
Tonight - my night. He wants an EXTRA pitching practice (he catches when she pitches)----do I say yes, or no? I wouldn't be saying yes for him---but yes to help improve D13's pitching (which by the way she is VERY good and has a lot of college potential).
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
