Kat, you ARE a good mom. Don't let anyone rob that from you, and I know it's easier said than done given how bad this can make you feel, but don't sell your own self short either.
...
I wanted to mention this latest incident as it has me a bit disgusted. It is my week with my S's this week, and as usual I dropped them off to be loaded on the bus/carpooled to their schools. xW was there at xMIL's (xMIl is their would-be after-school care provider [not my decision].)
I found out later in the day when I was at work that xW called in sick to her work -- and then proceeded to do something I find very unethical (albeit par for her course). She took our S's from the xMIL's that afternoon -- and then she and OM took my S's fishing. So not only did she horn in again on my time with my S's during my week of custody, she inhibited S9 from doing any of his home work -- as a result he had all that more catching up to do to complete his assignments before bedtime. As a result, that robbed me of any extra time I would have had with my S's last evening for leisure time.
Mind you, if I had ever done such a thing, xW would be screaming and hiring a team of underworld hitmen to take me out. I recall one time in particular when I had a Friday off during one of her weeks of custody and had asked her about spending the day with S5 since he too had no school (she was going to drop him off at her mother's place while xW went to work herself.) xW had angrily declined my offer saying that I was trying to get extra time in on our S's during her custody.
I at least asked first and then honored her wishes. She obviously can't be bothered.
I have said absolutley nothing about this. Nor have I responded to her various emails about her wanting to change up the childcare arrangements again. (Actually, yet again she wants to unilaterally dictate the terms for how childcare is to be paid for and calculated, without clearance from our L's first, let alone myself.)
I am amazingly calm about all this. She's proven to bear so much animosity and contempt for me, and she disrespects me at any opportunity she can. But I am taking my time now and am refusing to respond to her before I am ready to. She will most certainly take my carefully measured response as her opportunity to call me unresponsive or too slow to act, but whether fast or slow, she acts without regard to common sense anyway. I'm starting to not give a d*mn what she thinks or says to anyone else.
So I can see this is how we got into the situation where I would be "uncommunicative" with her during our M, as she likes to complain -- only difference now is that I am consciously embracing it. Passive-Aggressive? So What?
