Its amazing how I feel that I too was a p*ssy.. I did everything I could and let her walk all over me. I was the "nice" guy. I Usually always said, "what ever you want is fine by me." I know that I dont need to be an a$$ about it now,
Trying to prove your worth to someone else only proves you have no value with that person. Stop trying to prove yourself to her, start proving your worth to you.
I guess this is where the phrase " nice guys finish last" would come from ? maybe yes maybe no, it fits though...
I guess as a kid I was always taught by my mother to respect women. There was no book on how too, but "be nice" was the words she used.. My dad being from the old country was very "MAN" like.. It was only his way and for better or for worse my mother put up with it. It was the way it was and accepted that way. Please know that I am not saying this is right. I lived with that and wasnt always in agreement on his ways. Today its about finding the half way point so that the respect and the self worth is not jeapordized. I guess like all men on here we all thought that being nice was the right thing to do!... NOT!!
I truly believe that just before your married they should have courses on this kind of stuff. Teach both men and women how to become life long partners.
I can only say that I wish then what I know now. Life would be different. I had a session today with my IC and she basically told me that I need to do things that are shared on this thread. ( not bad on the eyes either) lol..
GAME ON!!!!..... LET THE CESCO TAKE CONTROL OF ME AND ONLY ME AND GAIN MY OWN SELF RESPECT AND PROVING THAT I AM WORTH IT!!!!..
I want to thank you for your continued support.. I dont post much as I am a rookie at this and feel that my advice is not senior enough.. I can only be supportive and continue to post. Its good for the anxiety..
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
You don't have to be a wuss to respect women. And you don't have to be a jerk to be manly.
For the record, I do consider myself to be a feminist and I fully support the idea that men and women should embrace their differences. Equality doesn't mean homogeneity.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
I guess like all men on here we all thought that being nice was the right thing to do!... NOT!!
Being nice IS the right thing to do.
Being passive is NOT. This is neither a male or female trait.
If you don't respect yourself, whether it's standing up for what you want or telling someone else to treat you better, then no one else will respect you.
And the last time I checked, neither gender seemed to say that respect was a male or female characteristic.
It's a very hard time, and there's a lot of emotions that go on when a marriage falters. But one thing that helps me is to think that it's less about you then you think it is. If my husband had respected himself, he wouldn't have had an affair and he wouldn't have tried to hide it. If he respected himself and wanted to be with another woman, he would have come to me before the affair, said he wanted out, and left.
If your wife respected herself, she wouldn't go around sneaking behind your back.
So remember that respect goes in a lot of different directions, some of it can't help but to intersect with you, but some of (and only you or your wife knows how much) has to do with your spouses feelings of self-worthlessness.
