Loved and Supported...

[sage]

Hey Hud!

The problems start when we let the fear settle in and reside with us continually, even if just below the surface.

Too true. I've let fear be a constant companion. Time to kick it out of the nest!

Are you wanting your H to bound home one day and say, "Honey, I want to hold you in my arms forever...nothing bad will EVER happen to us and I will fulfill your every longing and desire!"

Um, well, yes.

To be blunt with myself...I've actually heard from h all of the things that I've said I wanted to hear. I guess I kind of think of it this (perverse) way. When h dropped the bomb, had the a, screamed how badly he wanted a d, all that stuff, it's like some cord was cut...severed through. Now, without some dramatic assertion (at a similar intensity level as the bomb dropping) of a recommitment to the m, well, all the truly wondrous things that h does every day feels like its reconnecting a fiber of the cord but not the whole cord all at once.

Does that make sense?

I know what you went through must have been devastating, and I honestly hurt for you over that. But you didn't die from it., and as evidenced by your wisdom and all of the respect you garner from so many on this board, you are certainly stronger and wiser from it.

Yes...but I consider myself paid up on character building experiences...

Actually...you make a very good point...I DIDN'T die from it and I wouldn't if it happened again...and frankly, in the larger scheme of things (maiming, blinding, accidents, burns, etc) I would chose this over some other alternatives. Am I stronger for it? Yes.

Maybe now you need to go back to DBing 101 (hey, even pros never give up on working the fundamentals). It's about YOU!
Dive inside yourself to find what will ultimately help you find peace, regardless of your circumstances, whether its religion, spirituality or whatever. FIND THAT SOURCE FOR YOU.

I absolutely agree with this. I need some new goals. Back to DB basics!

Sage