his nights, he feeds them...no questions
when he has then, he buys then shampoo
when they need something and are with him, he gets it for them

this is not about your kids suffering...
I get that, my boys' dad would take them and not feed them or bathe them
I documented it
what he did on his time that wasn't HARMFUL to their well-being (being dirty doesn't pose a threat to their life)was his own business and then became the courts business

this is about allowing them all to make their own relationships