W officially in R w/ OM-

[Cautious]

Absolutely, don't stoop to her low blow level. I don't know that I'd include the "unattractive" part, though. Could easily be twisted into a sexual harrassment accusation, should she actually decide to take that road out of anger.

maynard, I'm glad you're feeling awesome today. The warm weather is definitely helping us all GAL. I'm warming up for a LOT of putt putt in the future, as I no-so-secretly love golf. Challenged my HS senior cousin and now he's coming in town for a round.

I hope you have one heck of a birthday weekend, and remember I'm here to talk... like a million times per day, since offering advice seems to be keeping me "up" at the moment. Plus, my sitch is somewhat keeping me up at night, unfortunately.

[jasper67]

I know what you mean- the best thing I've done is getting more involved in other sitches and not digging in full force in my own "misery."

Are you on the alt?

The plan for St is a round of golf then dinner at a local steak joint.

Keeping things going in a positive direction- keeping Dark and PMA- not really concerning myself w/ things that are not immediately in my life.

[jasper67]

OK, still doing well w/ NC, but I am having a moment here where I am SO FRUSTRATED that W will not end her A as she said she would a week ago.

I understand the addictive nature of the A- I'm temporarily consumed by the frustration of the fact that nothing positive can take place reg our R until the A has ended.


Guess this is just a rant...UUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

[jasper67]

I will be filing early next week...still NC, and feeling pretty good about it. I will also spend this evening and tomorrow, moving W's belongings into the garage.

I will continue NC until W is served and hopefully until the D takes place.

She has only admitted to still being confused and not knowing what she wants. I find that the NC really is the best way to go for ones-self...I have processed many emotions and have attained moments of "whatever"- I guess that's indifference.

Allen I'm open to your advice on the filing. I know that it's not truly what I want as an end result- so I'm a bit on the fence I suppose.

I understand that patience is required in this as well, perhaps I'm jumping the gun.

I had offered a while back that W attend Retrouvaille w/ me prior to D-ing...I have not mentioned it since, but I have pre-registered for one nearby in April.

Need some insight please

[jasper67]

didn't mean to single out Allen, obv I am open to as many views as possible...

[ericmsant2]

Maynard - I have not read your entire sitch..but why R u going to file?

[newmama]

Hi, Maynard,

I just caught up on your thread! Wanted to say a few things:

1)Cautious makes a good point about just being sad as a normal reaction to this traumatic event and that it doesn't mean you have a disorder. But we all react differently to anti Ds and if you get suicidal thoughts (although I read that most of us wish we were dead when this first happens to us) then by all means do not wait for them to disappear-get to thee doc now.
(but in the recent posts you sound better)

2)That woman in your office is a huge B!TCH! I think if you responded with something like "You must have a very hard life to find joy in others' misfortune. Excuse me but I have to do something." And walk away.

3)Why are you in a rush to file for D? Have you consider filing for legal separation first?

4)When is your B-day???

[jasper67]

In my Darkness- I've come to believe that so much damage has been done to myself and my family...that W has character assassinated me to the nth degree and shows no remorse for any of her actions.

I know that some of this can change w/ time- but I do not believe that I can be w/ someone like this. I am forgiving, and I will love her unconditionally- BUT I don't see W coming back, and I sure as Hell will not be her friend after the D.

I just don't know if I can keep going w/ this only to be served by the cheating and lying party....

My conflict is that I do believe in M, and I do not believe in D...so hense the fence-sitting

[chatterbug]

Maynard. File. Protect yourself. Its a piece of paper. Legal protection very important. Remember that. Whats in your heart and whats in reality are very far apart. Good thing you have your mind to balance that.

Do what is right. This is the right step.

[jasper67]

3/13 is Bday

Yes, the girl in the office is a B*tch

No legal Sep in my state

Not entirely confident in my decision to file but feeling some inner strength to be done w/ it and w/ her FOR GOOD.

Still love her, still believe in M, just don't have much faith in W at this time