I know what you're talking about. W and I have had a lot of bad moments, but we've also gone to the movies together, done things together over the past few months. To be honest, really having a problem with boundaries, and I know what you mean that it's not healthy. In the past week and a half, we've swung between being intimate (yeah, probably not the best idea) to her telling he she hates my guts, immediately after the mediation session. At any rate, I think we can be good friends once this settles down.
W has talked about us taking a family vacation to Disneyland; she's made various comments about some sort of post-D relationship. Even to the point of saying that, if we're supposed to be together she's like it to happen "organically" once the D is over. It's some crazy fantasy in her head. Well, it's cake-eating.
I'm not sure now why I'm posting all this on your thread, other than I can relate, and it's crazy-making.
I know what you mean about the fight / flight mode - now that we're at the end, it's just - ending. I still don't know what the future looks like. It's very possible that this mediation process, though, just brings the door down. There's a lot for us to heal from.
