Another thing to consider is your H having the children more frequently on a set schedule may help the two of create joint goals.
You said your H was very good at making individual goals but not very good at making joint goals with you. If your H wants to work, run a side business and do sports AND be a parent he is going to have to (A) give something up (B) hire help or (C) learn how to make joint goals with you.
Once you spread your wings a bit more you will also have to make joint goals with him or you will have to (A) give something up (B) hire help or (C) again, make joint goals.
I sense your H sees you as a bit rigid when it comes to the children. I understand the circumstances and why you had to take over so much of the parenting duties but now might be the time to show your H a new side of you.
You want the best for you children. But one way for your H to really see with his own two eyes what is not working is for him to have to make some heavy decisions, deal with unpleasant circumstances when it comes to the children and accept you are not there to work around his schedule. It may or may not force him to sort of look at how he deals with things but at least the issues will be more present to him.
