new information from W : NOW WHAT, pro's please .

[talia]

I categorically agree with Rob and CG - there IS a Male/Female dynamic and its vital we get that.

I know its not feminist to say we are not equal - but we are NOT in that sense.

CG - YOU and I have the same H - mine was/is spineless. Passive/aggressive - non-confrontational - could not make a decision to save his life. He was selfish and inconsiderate too. Over our marriage I lost all respect for him and THAT is a huge reason why he left. Its a two way street - he didn't respect me or treat me the way a wife should be treated - EVER! He liked to treat me the same as his buddies - bad idea!!

I am a VERY strong, Leadership oriented woman. Its a central part of my job. What I forgot is that didn't mean I HAD to be that way at home. I took over the house and he let me. I see how that ruined our marriage. All he had to do was say something - I would have changed it all - I pushed it too far. Sort of like a little kid testing to see what they can get away with. I look back now slightly ashamed of my behavior. Rather than stand up to me - the spineless jerk left and found a weaker woman to have an A with. He did the same thing with his affair - how far can I take this before she will say something... I PUT UP with it because classic advice for women is to "win" him back. Women need to advocate their worth too - just differently. It took me WAY too long to find resources to help me see that.

As to how women should act - I agree Rob - LIKE WOMEN. Not that we need to be submissive but men need to be treated like MEN. Its our job to treat them that way. If you really want functional examples check out the series "Light His Fire" - its amazing at showing women how to handle the male dynamic in a way that is EMPOWERING for us. Guys... There is a "Light Her Fire" series to teach you how to treat your women right..... (hint hint)

Its not our job to "parent" our spouses... when we start looking at it that way it kills the marriage...

Rob I think you said it on here - "Women want a man who will stand up for them, and usually that means Stand up to them" I totally agree - THAT'S what I needed from my H - and honestly will be the one thing I look for in my next relationship!!

Not sure if any of this helps - but I had to weight in!!

T